The trouble was, they left her too much alone...

  So I've been really really quiet lately. 

That's mostly because hockey has taken over my soul. What started out as a lark has become a full-blown obsession, exacerbated by the fact that the playoffs are going on right now and shit is intense. Last night, the Blackhawks (the team I love) played the Coyotes in Chicago and it was just the worst, mainly because of this: 



This is Marian Hossa, who happens to own my soul, taking an absolutely devastating hit from Raffi Torres. I was screaming when it happened and I was screaming when Hossa didn't get back up and I was screaming when Torres wasn't ejected from the game. There was some crying thrown in there too, because Hossa had to be taken out on a freaking stretcher. The night continued to get worse from then on, mostly because of Torres' continued presence in the game, since he shouldn't have been there. Andrew Shaw got a three game suspension for a hit on the Coyotes goalie who, as it happens, played in the very next game. He was fine. Hossa was carried out on a fucking stretcher, and that asshole got to play the whole game, minus like, twelve minutes. It was too much--not to mention the shitty-ass calls the refs made that night.  That stadium was on fire though, and you can bet your sweet ass they were calling for blood in Chicago. I know I was here.

The Coyotes ended up winning in OT which sucks, but I'm not worried. I have every faith that the Hawks will come back and squash those assholes like the bugs they are, with a little assistance from my chat pals, since we are convinced that by channeling our combined hatred for Mike Smith and Raffi Torres, the Yotes will spontaneously combust in mid-play, on the ice, or at the very least, Mike Smith's hands will fall off and he will start vomiting and shitting from an unexplicable bout of food poisoning. Here's to hoping.

In other hockey-related news, Sidney Crosby turns out to be an unexpected delight. I don't know much about him, but after talking with my hockey pals, I discovered that the general consensus is somewhat mixed. To some, he's alright, to others, he's somewhat of a big-mouthed puss, to be treated with disdain or indifference. At least that's how it was with them, until this: 



I haven't been watching very closely, but I have it on good authority that the Pens-Flyers series of the playoffs has been somewhat of a shitshow. This gif is of Sid Crosby super bitchily knocking away Jakub Voracek's glove, which is funny all by itself because it's such a cutesy sort of dick move. It escalates into awesomeness when you see the interview Sidney does after this game and how he responds to reporters asking about the move: 



What was he supposed to do? Pick up his glove?  What was that? Skate away? Skate away, you say? Yeah, well, he didn't that time, so.

Guys. He doesn't like anyone on their team. What don't you get about that?

I'm just delighted. I'm delighted because as bad as it sounds, that's probably the same answer I would have given. Sidney Crosby, you own my heart in this moment because we are simpatico. We are both children when competing.

I have so many feelings about this stupid game, and there's no way I could cover it all in one go. Just know you'll probably be hearing more about hockey shenanigans and less about the more geektastic aspects of my life as the playoffs continue. I'm just saying. This shit ruins lives. 

Look, I swear to Cthulu that I loathe Twilight. I fought my way through the book, taking three weeks to read it because I kept flinging it across the room and screaming, "Is this shit for real?" I'd then have to go read something else, give the book hateful looks from it's place on the floor in my bedroom and rant about how horrid it was to anyone who would listen. But listen. For some reason, I saw the movie, and had a really good time. I will admit here, and only here that I saw it more than once, and loved it every time I watched it. So now I hold these two conflicting ideas in my head about Twilight, and I fell in love with the online community--well, not the whole community--more like the Growing Up Cullen sort of  stuff --not the crazy Twihards, and Twimoms or whatever the hell they're called--IN ANY CASE, I'm babbling about all this because I'm watching the MTV Movie Awards and they played a clip from New Moon.

Holy Shit.

I embarassed the hell out of myself by screaming and biting a couch cushion. Guys. Guys. I haven't even read the book--I refuse to read anymore of them, but...oh holy crap. It's like everything rational in me shut down and that tiny part that goes batshit for sparkly vampires reared her head and just took the eff over.

Someone must save me from myself.

i'llprobablygoseeitwhenitcomesout.I'mjustsaying.Probablyopeningnight,ohgodsomeonesaveme.


Update: Twilight just won best movie award. Sweet baby Jesus.